"You may step off the scanner, Mrs Matrix," said the nurse, indicating that the minutely check-up was now complete. "As always you've been an exceptional patient."

AndrAIa smiled at the nurse as she complied with the request. "I do try."

"Moreso than your husband," the nurse added in a conspiratorial whisper loud enough for the two women to hear. "He's just about worn a hole in our floor from all his pacings about."

AndrAIa grinned.

"Think he's got something on his mind, the way he looks."

"Oh, I'm sure he does."

Together they turned to look at the renegade. Who did not appear to have noticed the whisperings or that it had now stopped and he was being looked at with matching amused expressions.

The nurse gave a little "I'm addressing you, now" cough, which, judging from the way he started, had succeeded in getting his attentions.

"We're all finished, Matrix, unless there's something else you want to have done?"

"What makes you say that?"

"Experience." The nurse smiled. "Really Matrix; I've dealt with dozens of anxious parents ever since Mainframe came back online. I know when a mother- or father-to-be has something on their mind."

Matrix stared at the floor. Yeah, he had something on his mind. Saying it, however, wasn't going to be easy.

Just blurt it out. No one will notice.

"Iwanttoknowifit—Imeanifourbabyisaboyorgirl."

There. All blurted out, much to the amused snickerings of the two women.

"Oh. That. Yes, we can do a scan for gender. Please return to the scanner, Mrs Matrix?"

Still smiling—this time with much humour—AndrAIa obliged.

"You got any wishes for what this baby's going to be, make them now."

"I just want to know. That's all. So we can be prepared."

"You make it sound like our baby will turn out to be a virus, the way you say 'prepared'."

Matrix didn't get to make his retort, because this particular scan was over in less than a nanosecond.

"Done. Still want to know?"

"I— Uh. Yeah. Sure."

"Invest in a lot of pink, Mr Matrix, because it's a girl."

Loads of times. Ninety-eight percent of the time it's Frisket who's behind it.

Usually we find an agreement, though.

I don't have to go back in time to talk with my younger self—I do it all the time.

Perk of having a copy of yourself to impart wisdom and experience onto.

Gravely underestimating the User.

If you know anything about me you know what happened next.

Now, you see, if you can remember the last party you attended, it was a good party. If you can't remember anything for at least three cycles, and on the fourth, it filters in through a haze of "I think that's what happened", then it's a great party.

So let me tell you about the last one I barely remember...



[OOC: I have way too much fun with these...]

AndrAIa. A secluded spot. And a lot of privacy.

My idea of a vacation in general. No User season required.

Tonight was going to be very special, he promised himself as he gave AndrAIa a kiss goodbye before she headed out the door that morning.

A nice little surprise for his wife, to mark a certain significant occasion in their lives.

On this cycle, AndrAIa had entered Mainframe and changed his life for the better.

How could he not want to celebrate it?

Humming along [yes, humming] as he cleaned up the apartment and made it look festively nice, prepaired the dinner, and set the table, he envisioned how the evening would progress. How. And where.

Such thoughts kept him smiling all cycle long.

Code, but he could not wait for her to get back.

Show her just what a sentimental side he really had.

Just before she was due to return, he rearranged the table for the fifteenth time, and proceeded to light the candles.

He was expecting a "Hello, Lover. What's the occasion?" to greet him any nano now.

He was not expecting a pwing! from behind him, or a sharp bark of "You! Cadet!", which caused him to do several things simultaneously: start, drop the still-lit lighter onto his palm, cry in pain, and then unleash a series of swear words that included several choice offerings learned from his time at the bar. All before turning around to see who had interrupted him.

"Got a function for yer," said Administrator Rijndael, head of the Academy, without taking any apparent notice of Matrix's reaction. The elderly Guardian was stout, brown, and had a beard the size of a small chicken.

"Can't wait to hear what it is," he muttered back, rubbing his burned palm in annoyance. And out of more than a little embarrassment, given that the Administrator had caught him in a rather candid moment. At least he'd stopped with the humming half a microsecond ago.

"Good lad," said Rijndael, ignoring the sarcasm as well. "Lot of buzz after you and the young lady visited here that time. Too much, to my mind, kids these cycles, trying to be Guardians and rebel at the same time, load of dropped parity bits, plus all that nonsense with the calendar..."

Oh, goodie. Rijndael was starting up a monologue, which Matrix would've ignored, if the Administrator hadn't mentioned that calendar of his wife. Now a clearly-defined jade, he coughed and said, "If this function involves me doing anything in various states of undress, I'll have to decline. I'm a married sprite, sir."

"Code forbid," barked Rijndael. "Like we need the students even more distracted. Terpri says you two answered some questions in her class. Seems to think you did a good job of it. Unusual perspective or some rot."

Matrix just looked skeptical. Or maybe a little irritated that his time was being wasted like this. "Unusual and very useful perspective, or you wouldn't be calling me tonight asking me if I'd impart a little more of that knowledge onto the students." Matrix seemed to be particularly swift on the uptake this evening.

Rijndael nodded with actual approval. "Not full-time or anything like that. A few sessions a term, sort of thing. We're asking your missus, too, although if both of you show up at the same time again I 'spect a few of our cadets might explode."

To say the thought of teaching a bunch of hormone-driven adolescents wasn't very appealling to Matrix would be an understatement. He really didn't have the patience to deliver lectures, especially to those who thought the lecturer was more interesting than the subject matter. But having AndrAIa along might make things far more tolerable. "They do, and I'll turn the lecture into a three microsecond salute to ET: The Extra-terrestrial. Without irony."

The Administrator gave a great bark of laughter. "Good lad! You'll do. Just stay off the cars this time, will you?" he added, looking past Matrix.

"I'll try, sir," quipped an amused and all too familiar voice from behind Matrix. "I can't make any promises, though."

A voice which caused Matrix to start for the second time that night. At least it was a far more welcome voice than Rijndael's. "When did you get in?" he asked, turning around to face his wife. "I didn't hear the door opening."

"Just now," she replied and stretched up on tiptoes to kiss Matrix's cheek lightly; seemingly unfazed by the Administrator's presence in the vidwindow.

"Just make sure you teach 'em before you shut down their brains," says the Administrator with a smirk. "I'll talk to Terpri about scheduling. You can get back to dinner. Nice apron, by the way."

Pwing!

Fraggit! he thought as the window closed. He didn't think Rijndael had noticed that apron, given how obtuse the sprite seemed to make himself appear. No matter. AndrAIa was home now. And now that the Administrator was gone and they were properly alone...

He returned AndrAIa's kiss with some of the passion that had been building up all cycle, not breaking off for at least a nano. "Rijndael just offered me a teaching position at the Academy. You're welcome to come along if you'd like," he said once he finally broke the kiss.

"I'd have to think about it," the Game sprite replied, returning the kiss briefly. "I do have a shop to run, after all."

"I know," he murmured, wrapping his arms about her. "It won't be just yet. I don't think Rijndael will get back to us for another half second." He gave her a nuzzle. "Consider it a little vacation, if you do come along. I'm sure your employees will be able to hold the fort while you're away."

"That's true," she admitted, relaxing as she leaned into him. "So what's with all the fancyness?"

For a moment, he didn't say anything. He just revelled in being close. Then, "Remember the cycle you came to Mainframe? Today's the anniversary of that cycle. How you came here and made my life so much happier."

The Game sprite fell silent for a few moments before speaking again. "Is it really?"

He tightened his hold about her. "It is. It almost feels like it was last cycle that you came here, how the time has gone by."

She settled into the embrace. "So much has happened, I can't believe I forgot about this."

"I know. And I don't regret a nano of it. You're the best thing to have ever happened to me." He paused. "At least I remembered. And I plan to make this a tradition between us."

AndrAIa smiled, as she trailed a finger along her husband's chest. "I think I can get used to this, then."

Matrix smiled. Then stroked her hair. "I know I'll be getting used to this. I've got a whole night planned for just the two of us." He inclined his head towards the table where two plates were waiting. "We'll start with dinner, then move our way along to dessert." He smiled playfully, if not suggestively. "Happy anniversary—" He kissed her head. "—Lover."

All about him was destruction. Mainframe lay in ruins, a charred, lifeless ember. Smoke rose in dreary columns where buildings used to stand. The end result of a terrific clash between the inhabitants of the city, and the one who now stood before Matrix, at the centre, where the Principal Office used to be.

Megabyte.

He was hardly recognisable now. His form had become twisted and distorted due to the hours spent in the web. And it had become gigantic as well. A hundred pixels high, if not more.

Megabyte was a colossus of a virus.

And he was covered in long tentacle-like cables. All waving and writhing independently of their owner.

He was a horror to behold.

"You all fought valiantly," the virus mocked. "I must say I was impressed. Too bad the outcome was inevitable. Megaframe is mine again."

"NO!" Matrix shouted, and Megabyte turned his enormous, elongated head towards the renegade. "I WON'T LET YOU WIN!"

"Oh? You won't? And just how do you intend to stop me, boy?" Megabyte laughed. "I have your city and I have your friends. Your attempts to thwart me have been crushed. What can you do to stop me?"

"I'll find a way, Megabyte," he snarled, as he made his way forward—

—or rather, attempted to.

His legs would not move. He struggled to make them obey his orders to take him forward, but they did not listen.

He looked down.

"...no..."

Creeping up his legs was Hexadecimal's Medusa Bug. It had claimed his legs below his knees, and was rising fast.

"'Find a way'? You can't even make your way forward, boy."

"No. No! NO!"

Matrix tugged at his left leg, but it was no use. It was rooted to the ground. Immovable.

"LET ME GO!"

"Oh yes. Let him go, so he can save his friends."

It was now that Matrix saw, amongst the cables, the figures of his friends and family.

Bob.

Dot.

Enzo.

AndrAIa.

Mairi.

Phong.

Mouse.

Ray.

Frisket.

And an unidentifiable figure he assumed must be his child.

"LET THEM GO!"

"Come and save them, then," Megabyte taunted. "Come and save them. Or can you? You can't even save yourself from my sister's legacy."

The Bug was up to his neck, now.

"It seems to me that it's all over this time, boy." Another laugh. "Game Over. Megabyte wins."

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" he screamed, his voice strangling as the Bug claimed him—

---

"NOOOO!" he shouted as he abruptly awoke, sitting bolt upright, blanket clutched tightly in his hand.

His eyes were wild and frightened, darting this way and that about the darkened bedroom of their apartment.

Outside he heard the sounds of Mainframe as it went about its nightly routine.

Quiet.

Peaceful.

Calm.

Oblivious.

He ran a hand over his hair as he felt arms wrap around him, a chest pressed against his side.

He looked at AndrAIa. Her expression seemed to be one of grave concern.

"You were tossing about in your sleep. Were you having a nightmare?"

Instinctively, the hand he was using to grasp at the sheet went about her waist. At that moment, he needed comfort. He needed her.

It had seemed so real. Too real for virtual.

"Yeah."

But it was just a dream. A very bad dream. But a dream no less.

"What was it about?"

Is it?

"Old enemies."

Was it?

He made to lie back down onto the bed, breathing deeply, staring at the ceiling, while AndrAIa snuggled in close, still concerned.

"You know you can tell me about it. You don't have to keep it to yourself..."

He closed his eyes, willing himself to be calm.

"...was just a dream, AndrAIa... ...only a dream..."

"AndrAia, I don't want you going into Games"... No. That's not right. Too bossy.

Pacing the room was one Matrix, waiting for his wife to return home from work. Trying to figure out how best to say what he wanted to say, and in a way that didn't sound like he was giving AndrAIa orders.

Never had he told her what to do, and he had no plans to start now.

But...

The baby.

Enzo had said she'd entered a Game with him during his shift. And likely, neither of them thought too much about how it would affect the baby she was carrying while they were playing it.

The baby he was worrying about now.

"AndrAIa, I'm worried that the baby will be hurt. Please stay out of the Games." No. That's not right either.

This was not going to be an easy conversation he was about to initiate.

That at least he was certain of.

He continued his pacing, glancing at the door as a means to distract himself from his efforts to construct a sentence.

Where are you? Are you working overtime now?

Al's waiter's cooking. And web slugs.

Less said about them the better.

And no, I wouldn't. If I can help it.

There aren't many days when he feels this nervous. In fact, he can probably count on one hand the number of times he'd felt every part of his innards knot and clench.

Fatherhood made him happy. Telling everyone else about it made the words run from his mouth, to have him as speechless as he is now.

Meet them at Dot's Diner, he'd told them, once the message had been given to everyone they wanted to have there.

Well? What are you waiting for? Tell them, he told himself, while waiting for everyone to assemble themselves.

Doing his best to calm himself, he wrapped an arm about AndrAIa's waist, and rested his hand against her belly.

"Everyone? We have something very important we want to share with you..."

Lying on his back, arms under his head and staring in the general direction of the ceiling, Matrix was lost in thought.

A child. We're going to have a baby.

He sighed contentedly. It had kept him awake all night, but he didn't mind. At all. Compared to all the other things that had made him sleepless, this was very pleasant.

Shifting his gaze over to AndrAIa, he smiled. He had no way to sense the baby, but he didn't need to. Imagination took care of that.

Another millisecond until the lights go on. I should get up.

Taking care not to awake his wife from her sleep, he headed off to the bathroom for a quick shower, before heading into the kitchen to make something to eat.

Not for himself. For AndrAIa.

When she wakes up, there'll be a Matrix busy cooking her a large breakfast suitable for several hungry mothers-to-be.

[Previously in Milliways...]



He was going to be a father.

This thought occupied him as he paced the room, where Phong was prepping the equipment to confirm what Bob had already detected.

Matrix was going to be a father.

It had startled him at first, but once his head cleared, he felt nothing but joy over the news Bob had given them a cycle or two ago.

Matrix and AndrAIa were either going to be parents or not. It was up to Phong to tell them that.

"Everything is ready, my son. AndrAIa?"

Phong motioned towards the table for AndrAIa to lie down on.

Here they'd find out the rest of the happy news.

If Phong could just get Matrix to stop pacing long enough to tell them both...

But it didn't look like Matrix was going to listen to the old sprite. Phong could see it in Matrix's posture.

"AndrAIa, if you will?"

The Game sprite set herself down on the table. She, too, was nervous, but unlike her husband, was more cooperative.

"Please lie down, and we will begin the scan."

Though it felt like picoseconds, in reality it wasn't long at all until the results were in.

"Bob's keytool abilities are most impressive. Yes, AndrAIa is pregnant, and soon you will be parents. My congratulations."

AndrAIa smiled. Matrix stopped pacing.

"I'll leave you two alone, now."

They watched Phong go. They looked at each other.

"A child?"

"A child."

"We've got a lot of work ahead of us if we're going to be ready for a baby."

"Don't worry, Lover, we will be, and we have plenty of friends and family to make sure of that."

He nodded wordlessly.

He was going to be a father.

Sitting in his chair, feet propped up on a suitable stool, and watching his favourite .mpeg on a vidwindow, Matrix had never felt more at ease in all his runtime. After having received his link command in what had to be one of the oddest weddings Mainframe had yet seen, he'd been feeling a sense of calm about him. Something akin to being hugged by that bear from Milliways, but without the Daemon-esque unnatural cheerfulness that came with it.

More like, an assurance that what he had now wasn't going to be taken from him anytime soon.

He had a wife, a dog, a place to live, and friends and family around him. All was good.

In user terms it would be like someone taking a bit of sandpaper to his edges and smoothing them a bit. Not enough to erase all of his character; just enough to take some of the harshness from it.

He wondered to himself if this was something unique, or something others felt when they got their link commands.

Did Bob and Dot feel like this? Did his parents?

He smiled slightly. If Ray Tracer were here Matrix might even tolerate any attentions the surfer might give to AndrAIa. Now he knew without a doubt she wasn't going anywhere, and all the flirtings to come could be taken in stride.

Or, he might, with all the politeness he could muster, tell the offender exactly where they could download themselves.

He was, after all, still himself. Link command or no.

[Millitimed to a day or two after their stay in Radiance.

[Musical accompaniment. Has nothing to do with this post; I just like it. Though, it does seem to fit the overall theme of this little plot...]



Not a lot unlike the last system, the pair arrive in the next in the dead of night. This time, though, there’s no question as to where they are as they pass a large sign, hovering in the middle of the 'Net pathway, lit nearly as brightly as the city visible in the portal up ahead, and welcoming them to LAN Voltas.

A smile tugs slightly on AndrAIa’s mouth as her companion voices his thoughts from beside her on his bike. "Now this is more like it. I could stay here for a few cycles."

"Sounds like an idea, then." The Game sprite takes in the cityscape while they merge in with surprisingly heavy traffic and they turn into what looks to be the main drag while easing off on their altitude. "You know, it's an awfully busy place for this time of night."

"Too busy," Matrix grouses, even if this system is leagues better than Radiance was. To a human onlooker, the place looks like pop-up window hell, with advertisements for just about every form of gambling one could think of, and probably a few one couldn't. "It's like going from dial up to hi-speed in under a picosecond." You could tell from tone though, that he didn't think this business was a bad thing. In fact, it might be a tone of approval merely masquerading as disapproval.

AndrAIa motions at the surprising amount of themed hotels as they ride by on their bikes. "Well we better hope one of these places have vacancy, then." They pass by a few more hotels with signs outside declaring them to be full before arriving in front of one named 'PirateBay'. Outside, in a data lagoon there's a pirate ship with what are probably actors, because most of the moves they're using in that battle of theirs would be useless against anyone with half a brain; it was all flash, no actual finesse. "What about this place?"

"'PirateBay'. Captain Capacitor would love this place," he mutters, taking in the visuals. Indeed, it is a place the former software pirate would love, even if he'd critique the actors' techniques. Scanning as far as he could, and seeing nothing but "No Vacancy" signs, he sighs. "'PirateBay' it is then." Right now, sleep is more pressing, and he hasn't got the energy left to debate a different hotel with AndrAIa. Besides, that look on her face appears to be one of "I really like this place a lot", and who is he to deny her what she wants?

The bikes are stowed in the garage and the sleep-deprived and scruffy-looking pair enters the immaculate lobby carrying their bags and Frisket trailing behind them, and they make their way towards the front desk, disregarding the disapproving glances sent their way. AndrAIa approaches the desk while Matrix hangs back, his bionic eye glowing red. Some of the patrons have trouble in mind.

What manner of place is this? Did the people take the "pirate" part of the name literally?

"We'd like a room please."

The sprite behind the counter eyes them in undisguised distain. "I'm afraid we only have our Premium suites available at the moment, ma'am. Now if you'll mov—"

"We'll take one, then."

The sprite startles, and he starts spluttering at AndrAIa, who pinches the bridge of her nose while the clerk begins rambling. "Ma'am, I assure you that the prices a—"

"Look," the Game sprite more or less growls out. "We've been traveling all day, we're tired, cranky, and just really want some sleep." She gestures at the terminal in front of the sprite. "Now, why don’t you just go onto your little database there, and book us into a room for a few nights."

"Better do what she says," Matrix snarls. "She's a lot nicer than I can be when cross." His hand isn't moving towards the gun at his hip, but something about his body posture makes it stand out.

"Sir, weapons are not—" the sprite begins.

"Gun stays with me." Tone of no compromise.

"Sir?" the sprite tries again, looking more chastened.

"Room. We've got money to pay for whatever you've got. Just give us one. We're not here for trouble." But he sure as hell won't back down from it if they give him any, Matrix’s eye glows red again and Frisket chooses this moment to let out a low growl, sending the clerk scrambling.

They’re standing in their room not long afterwards, taking a moment to take in the decor and the view out the window overlooking the city. Frisket forces his way past the pair and hops onto one of the couches, flopping onto it unceremoniously with a sigh and almost immediately starts to snore. The sprites leave the luggage in the main room and make for the bedroom for some sleep of their own.

***

A uniformed binome places another card in front of AndrAIa.

"Eighteen."

"Hit me."

"Twenty-one; and that's another win for the lovely Game sprite. You sure this is your first time playing, Ma'am?" The binome slides the gambling chips she’s just won to the continually growing pile in front of her.

"Positive," she replies, sliding a stack of chips out for the next round.

AndrAIa was, to put it simply, raking it in. At her current rate, she'd have enough to buy the most expensive property in Mainframe that was not owned by Dot.

Matrix, on the other hand, has an aura of frustration about him. He's at the slot windows, and his winnings are next-to-non-existent, and quickly sliding into the red as he tries desperately to get the symbols to line up.

It’s just not his night.

"You’d think having spent five hours in the games would’ve given me some advantage," he snarls, as a zero and two one binome symbols slide into view. "Argh!"

At first, it looks like he’s about to deposit several gambling tokens into the machine [they’d exchanged some of their units for them, since the machines wouldn’t take them], but when both hands are placed at opposite sides of the screen…

"Mister you are not allowed to do that," a one binome dressed in garb that reminds Matrix of one of Captain Capacitor’s crew says. "They’re delicate."

Matrix just replies with something extremely rude, and several patrons gasp, their attention now on the scene unfolding.

"These blasted things are rigged!"

"Sir. Please take your hands off the slot window or I’ll have to call security…"

Several onlookers mutter, and the words "They’ll need to call in a lot of security. Look at the size of him!" float towards Matrix, and, most importantly, AndrAIa, who has excused herself from the table in order to calm her lover down and prevent the scene from escalating.

"Matrix, relax. We’re here to have fun."

"Easy for you to say. You’re doing all the winning."

Yes, he had heard the comments from AndrAIa’s table. As well as the compliments over her appearance.

She sighs. "Matrix. Why not find another game to play or—"

"NOW IN OUR AUDITORIUM!" bellows the PA's overhead. "CELINE DIODE, BINARY MANILOW AND OUR FAMOUS MAGICAL ACT, BY THE NET-RENOWNED SEGFAULT AND ROY!"

"—you can go catch the show instead and keep yourself out of trouble while I take care of the winning?"

Her smile looks innocent, but he knows too well it’s her “I’m not taking any arguments” smile, nods and pretty much stomps off in the direction of the auditorium, as indicated by the binome who’d been trying to save the slot windows from meeting a very shattered fate at the hands of the renegade.

***

Torture.

That’s what this had to be. Listening to Diode warble and Manilow sing songs that were considered old when his mother was still processing. It’s sheer torture. And as such he spends the evening just glaring at the stage. Possibly causing the sprites who were performing to miss several notes in response.

"AND NOW, THE ACT YOU’VE BEEN WAITING FOR! SEGFAULT AND ROY!"

"This had better be more entertaining than the last two were," he snarls lowly from his seat.

It isn't, much to his chagrin.

In fact, it's positively boring.

"'Net renowned'. I'll bet," he mutters.

It continues for half a microsecond, before the lights dim and some sort of jungle MIDI begins to play.

"LIVE ANIMAL MAGIC! SEE FEROCIOUS BEASTS FROM THE UNTAMED CORNERS OF THE NET!"

He yawns. He already has Frisket for "ferocious" and "untamed".

But at least the animal act is mildly entertaining, until...

"Hey Sparky! Glad to see you’re keeping quiet."

AndrAIa. Now things would be interesting.

"Yeah. Diode and Manilow almost put me to sleep."

"Come on; they couldn't have been that bad!" she teases.

"They are. You staying or just checking up on me?"

"I only came down to see how you were doing, but I could stay for a bit—what's that?"

She looks towards the stage, where two one binomes in garish costumes are performing.

"Said it's a tiger," he says, following her gaze. "'From the untamed corners of the net.'"

"Looks more like a very large pussycat."

That’s what they think.

Because the tiger in question decides that the routine it normally performs is becoming stale, and decides to take matters into its hands. Or rather, mouth.

The audience screams as Segfault's blocky head is pinned between the tiger's jaws.

"It's just… It's just! Everyone calm down!" shouts Roy, looking positively panicked.

"Hey now this is entertainment!" Matrix approves.

"Matrix! That binome’s in trouble!"

"And I thought it was just part of the act."

Well. Here was his opportunity to ingratiate himself to the owners of PirateBay.

"Where are you going?" AndrAIa asks, looking very concerned.

"To lend a hand. He's in trouble, right?" He's already standing.

AndrAIa puts a hand on his arm, shaking her head. "Leave this to me," she says, and heads towards the stage, causing anyone who wasn't screaming or in a dead faint to point at the Game sprite walking so casually towards it.

"Let me," she says to a frightened Roy, and, with what looks like a tap, the tiger quickly lets go and flops down, seemingly unconscious.

"…ttttttthanks…" he quavers, and proceeds to faint, allowing the hospital medical team to rush in to deliver assistance to the performers.

***

"We’d like to thank you, madam, sir, for helping us and Segfault and Roy," says a sprite who had identified himself as the hotel's owner. "And we’re sorry for being so rude to you the other night."

"It’s no trouble," AndrAIa smiles. "Glad to help."

"We're glad you did. I didn’t think we’d be able to pull ol' Mac off of Segfault this time."

"Here," a zero binome says, lugging a very heavy bag. "Have this."

"What is in that thing?" Matrix asks, and the binome smiles. "Just about every souvenir we’ve got in the shop, and..." He pauses, then rushes back to where he came from, before returning with a small box. "Tickets. To see future shows."

"I'd rather you—" Matrix begins, but AndrAIa interrupts him with a "Why thank you! You don't need to reward us, but we'll gladly accept your generosity. I'm sure the folks back home would appreciate a chance to see your show."

"Andr—" Matrix begins again, but is again cut off.

"As soon as it's possible to do so."

"Thanks," says the binome, looking very happy.

"Matrix? Would you be so kind as to take these upstairs?"

---

"Dear Bob and Dot,

LAN Voltas is fantastic! I doubt the lights ever turn off here. Stayed at the PirateBay hotel. Matrix thinks Gavin would love it.

Won lots of money, which is good, because Matrix ruined that one slot window and the hotel needed reimbursing for the damages.

Sent him to watch Celine Diode and Binary Manilow, as well as Segfault and Roy to keep him quiet. Matrix didn't think much of the act, until Segfault was attacked by their tiger.

You'd be amazed the level of gratitude one can receive, when someone's just been saved from a wild animal.

JPGs as usual are enclosed.

Love, Andi."

[Yes, I know that this post does contain several inaccuracies and whatnot, but the whole point of them is for comedic effect.

I mean, you don't expect a hick system to be anything resembling "sophisticated", did you?

Anyways...]

[Musical accompaniment.]



"Can't stay awake much longer; I need to sleep. We'll stop here and get some rest." That was a few microseconds before the system lights would be switched on and they could get a better look at where they were. Yawning, he'd ordered a room for two, and was practically asleep before he even got into bed. But now that he is awake and rested, he can finally ask for more than just a key from the binome who earlier seemed to be hiding a smirk as she showed them where their room was. "Mind telling me where we are?" he'd asked the one binome. "System name?"

The binome in question smiles, revealling a gap-toothed smile, causing AndrAIa, Matrix, and even Frisket to startle. Binomes with teeth? What kind of place was this, anyways?

"You've done gone and found yourself in 'Radiance', stranger. There anything else I can do for you fine folks?"

Neither sprite seemed to have an answer to her question, which seems to be taken by the binome to continue on.

"It's jus' a sweet lil' corner of the 'net," the binome says, as though reading his expression. "Y'all are jus' in time, too. Got a big event lined up f'r today, if'n you're lookin' f'r somethin' to do with your lady ... friend?" The binome gives Matrix another of those looks that say she's quite amused at the thought of what he might've been doing earlier. In private.

"What sort of ... event?" Matrix asks, and if it's at all possible, the binome smiles even wider, which is just disturbing, as there's even more missing teeth and even the remnants of whatever she ate last stuck to the inside of her mouth. Didn't people here understand the concept of hygeine? "We gots ourselves a big ol' fair lined up today. I'm sure you folks'll have a hoot, there's all different sorts'o'things to be found there."

"Sounds real alphanumeric," Matrix grumbles with complete sarcasm that the binome misses, and replies to with, "Yer darn right it'll be! Even got ZIP pig catching schedualled." Whispering at a level only Frisket and AndrAIa can hear, he mutters, "I should've waited at least half a microsecond longer before landing here. Then we wouldn't be in this place."

AndrAIa's smile seems a bit forced now, but at least now she's able to speak. "Sounds...interesting. We might wander over later." The bimome whoops. "I'll be seeing you Strangers there then! Your man looks like he'd make short work out of them there ZIP pigs."

And when the binome gets that look of remembering something she'd forgotten earlier, she tells them not to wander far, with all the enthusiasm she'd shown just then, and takes off somewhere.

"ZIP ... pig ... catching?" If this place weren't so BASIC he might actually find it funny. With a shrug, he looks at AndrAIa. "Let's check this place out and see if there's anything it can give us to do to make us too busy to be able to catch pigs later on."

Alas, that was not to be. Since the whole system seemed to be bustling about because of the fair ["Are the people here really that starved for entertainment?"], they spent more time taking in the eight bit horror that was Radiance ["I'll bet this system was named 'Radiance' by another outsider. As a joke. One these people didn't get."] than Matrix would've liked.

"All righ', since you's strangers don't know nothin' 'bout ZIP pig catching, we's gonna tell y'all all 'bout't."

Standing outside a pit filled with MUD and several animals that the natives called "pigs", the Mainframers look as though they're busy exchanging tense expressions and several whispered comments while the zero binome began his talk about what the event was all about.

"ZIP pig catchin'. Each o' you's given a pig to catch, see? And you're timed onnit. Fastest pig catcher wins."

"I can only imagine what the prize is," Matrix mutters, and the zero smiles. This one at least had more teeth than the binome at the hotel. "It's a good-un prize, sir! Anyways... ZIP pig catchin'. Right. You's catch the pig you're supposed t'catch. In the fastest time possible. But, if you catch someone else's piggy, y'see, you's gets time added onto your own. Five nanoseconds each time. Other'n that? Y'go hog wild. Them rules is clear?"

Maybe to the inhabitants of Radiance they were complicated, but Matrix, AndrAIa and Frisket understand them quite easily, and the zero nods.

"Righ' then. Everybody in!"

They're nearly trampled as about twenty binomes all rush into the pit of MUD, but once inside—and with several attempts by Matrix to stay bipedal, the zero blows his whistle, and the place is suddenly filled with excited shouts from the binomes.

"They're really starved for—whoa!" Matrix shouts as he slips in the MUD, causing AndrAIa to laugh. "You'll never catch anything at that rate!" she says with a giggle. Trust AndrAIa to find the best in a situation as she eagerly throws herself into the game, and is soon covered down the front with MUD.

"Tha' big green one ain't doin' so well?" a binome shouts from outside the pit. "Ain't gonna catch nuthin'!"

"Contestant number 11 has his pig!" the zero shouts over the loudspeaker. At least they're smart enough here to count in binary without giving themselves a headache. "Hurry up, green guy! Yer lady's beatin' ya!"

"I'm trying!" Matrix shouts as Frisket whizzes past, easily catching his pig.

"Contestant number 1000 has his pig! Give that dog a bone!"

Not wanting to be outdone by his own dog, he lunges at what he hopes is his pig [everyone in the pit has at least half their body covered in MUD], and does a spectacular belly-down splat instead. Just as their camera flashes and clicks [they'd given it to one of the yokels to use, not wanting it to get dirty].

"Almost got it Matrix!" AndrAIa shouts with encouragement, while Matrix lifts his face from the muck, MUD dripping. This is really starting to try his patience—as if the locals hadn't already done so.

"That's it I've had enough," he growls as he gets up and lunges at his pig, lands on it, and causes the poor animal to let out a spectacular squeal of pain in response.

At which point, the crowd really goes wild.

"Unorthodox but it works! Contestant number 101 has his pig! Give'm a hand folks!"

Matrix, just glad to be done with the effort, retires to where Frisket and the other binomes who've all caught their pigs are standing, with the Game sprite soon joining them.

"Fun huh?" AndrAIa laughs. There's hardly a clean patch on her, she's so covered in MUD. Strangely, the sight is rather appealling, and he's grateful for the MUD covering his own face, or she would see he's now a nice defined shade of jade. "We should do this again!"

"I don't think so," is Matrix' response.

Within the course of a microsecond, all the pigs are caught, and the injured one is sent to the vet to be treated for its injuries.

"Arright! Time to hand out the prizes!"

"Here you go. And here's yours, and yours." The three fastest contestents, were of course, all locals, but the binome handing out the prizes still came up to the strangers, handing them something. It appeared to be a statue of a little binome holding a pig while smiling stupidly.

"What's this? We didn't make the top three," Matrix asks, confused.

"It's the 'special effort' trophy, sir. And you've wonnit!"

Not wanting to be rude, Matrix reluctantly accepts the trophy, and AndrAIa smiles at him. She at least makes all this better.

"Better go to the data showers t'get cleaned up'n'all, you's two. There be grub later!"

"Can't wait," Matrix says with more of his sarcasm, as a chicken flutters up onto his head and settles there.

---

"Dear Bob and Dot.

First stop was a quaint little system called 'Radiance'. Inhabitants are a bit slow in speed, but they're friendly and pleasant enough, regardless of what Matrix might tell you. Participated in someting called 'ZIP pig catching', which is fun and messy—you should try it sometime.

Anyways, we're off to the next system. Matrix hopes the next one is more developed than Radiance is.

JPGs included [check out that MUDdy Matrix!].

Love, Andi."

[After this.]



He knows they know she knows we're doomed I'd rather be back in the Games I know how to handle them I'll just bet she's got it all planned out down to the colours of the daisy wheel bouquet Dot's going to have a conniption to end all conniptions when she finds out we don't have link commands.

Babbling all at once was something he'd largely given up hours ago, as just one of the things that made him "Enzo" and not "Matrix". Save for the bear [and the less said about it the better], or perhaps extreme stress [like now], he's never talked like that.

He wasn't, of course.

He was only babbling in his mind.

While pacing about the common room of the apartment he and AndrAIa shared.

Feeling more and more tense; more and more frustrated.

Bob and Dot are home from Underhill I should be happy to see them but seeing them talk so casually about their vacation and then have Bob mention honeymoons...

During his travels with AndrAIa, there hadn't been time for life's simpler pleasures. Or for anything save staying in a system for however long they were able to until the next Game came to take them wherever it would, doing whatever was necessary to help the inhabitants in the meantime until they left—likely for good.

Anything done to signify a formal bond would, by necessity, be brief, containing only the most basic elements before they set off again. And done almost as soon as they were able to. Who knew how long they'd be able to continue like this?

He continued to pace.

Well. They were going to have to discuss this sooner or later...

Looking in the direction of wherever the Game sprite happened to be, he hollered out.

"AndrAIa! How long do you think we could hide out in the Games for?"

[OOC: Night before Bob and Dot come back to Mainframe, and Millitimed accordingly.]



It had been a good night. The last night before Bob and Dot were to return from their holiday in Underhill, and he'd intended to spend it with AndrAIa. There hadn't been a Game in two cycles, and he'd figured he'd have the evening free for "alone time".

That was three microseconds ago, and he was fast asleep in bed, arm draped over AndrAIa, hand entwined with hers.

And snoring.

Ideal opportunity for an unwanted interruption.

"Sir? Hello? Long range sensors detect Game cube dropping in Kits Sector," said the binome on the other side of the Vidwindow.

His response was another snore.

"Incoming Game, sir!" the binome said, with all the urgency she could muster.

One eye opened. The bionic eye. Glowing red in targeting mode. Otherwise he didn't appear to be moving out of bed with any kind of speed.

The Vidwindow moved in. Perhaps if she got closer, Matrix would hear her.

"Inco—"

Sounds of something shattering as a fist was driven through the Vidwindow.

"Heard you the first time," he complained, not wanting to be woken up, especially tonight.

"Rrrr-rrrr-right, Matrix," she warbled in a scared voice.

"Time to get going. This had better be worth my time."

Before sliding out of bed, he gave AndrAIa a kiss. It was a habit of sorts, to wordlessly display affection before heading off. Then proceeded to get dressed by clicking his icon.

One thing sprites had over Users, was the speed in which one got dressed.

"Kits. Right," he said, grabbing the zip board and hoping everyone else had the sense to go home at night. "There it is."

Without fanfare, the Game dropped just as he managed to get under it.

The yawn he was trying to stifle turned into a choke of surprise, once he was inside. As he'd hoped, no one else was in the Game cube save for him.

Which was just as well, because...

Staring in horror, he took in the Gamescape. "Oh, you have got to be kidding me," he groaned.

A field. A big field. And scattered about, were a bunch of multi-coloured equines with symbols tattooed on their hindquarters. A few were grazing; some were not, and several others were doing some nightmare version of line dancing.

"Fraggit, I was woken up for this? I was woken up, because the User's kid sister insisted upon playing 'Pony Meadows' tonight?"

He sighed.

"Reboot."

At least no one in Mainframe was here to see this...

A soft and gentle wmv plays across Matrix's ears.  He knows it will change soon, but for now the bachelor party is getting started, not in full swing.  It will do well for the start at least.

Food and drink is set out on a large table, moved into the park for the occasion, along with mpeg viewers and large numbers of lights for later.  People should be arriving any moment.

While an extradimensional bar is generally pretty good for relaxing, Matrix generally spends more time going to Dot's Diner than Milliways.

It's a comfort thing, really.

And right now, after having to deal with an annoying new Game that he'd had absolutely no idea how to deal with at first, he decides to go with the nice, simple Diner over the insanity that usually awaits at the end of the universe, sitting at one of the booths, sipping at an energy shake.